Let me start one by one and let me know if I covered what you’re looking for. Hopefully others might chime in as I’m not familiar with everything out there, but I think I’m okay with the basics.
Yes, the z-wave portion is secondary to the primary function of turning a light or load on and off, but its all in the same housing. Without doing anything z-wave, if you just install a switch in the wall, it’ll act like a normal switch. If you have a z-wave controller, you can do what’s called “include” it (kind of like installing a new device on a computer) so that the controller can also control it. You can then control that switch remotely through your computer or some through some software on a tablet or phone that interfaces with that controller. Controllers come in all shapes and sizes. Some look like remote controls, some sit on a desktop with a lcd display, some are a box like Vera…it just depends on how much functionality you want out of it besides just using it as a remote way to turn the light on and off. There are also devices that look like wall switches but are “accessory remotes” for the main switch. These accessory switches don’t actually turn anything on and off themselves…they’re just a button you push to make a switch at another location turn on and off. You can program the switches directly to each other, or have the signal go through a controller and have the controller turn on the second switch. Just depends on what you’re trying to achieve besides just turning the light on and off. There are also switches that are instant status, which means they report whether they’re on and off immediately when it happens, or others that are not. If I physically press the switch on the wall, an instant status one will show it turned on in your controller right away, where one not instant status won’t. It will show on at the next polling, which could be several minutes later. The light is on, but it doesn’t show on your controller as being on. If you just want to turn a switch on remotely and don’t care if it actually shows on, then it won’t matter. You can still press off and it’ll turn off. If you want to see its status right away, or you want that ON status to trigger other events, you’ll want instant status. One switch can be multi way as you put it, as it can be turned on or off from any number of sources.
Yes, in some apps you can create multiple pages and organize them how you like. Others can’t. Some are preloaded based on whats on your controller. I would just download whats out there and get familiar with each as everyone’s requirements are slightly different. Most are available for free or a limited trial. Some have pages, tabs, etc… They all log in to your Vera (or other controller) to make the light turn on and off. Android and IOS have different sets of apps. Many aren’t available for both OS’.
There isn’t one controller that I know of that will do everything you mentioned. Some will monitor cameras, some won’t. Vera does it, but its not very sophisticated. I don’t know of any that have intercom functions. Gate control can be done with a Mimolite for example, and a magnetic device of some kind depending on what kind of gate you’re trying to operate. Pretty much all do light switches. Some do locks. Some do ceiling fans. Some have light, water, temp, or humidity sensors. I have a Nest, and Vera will control it with a plugin. But the Nest app does far more than the Vera interface alone. So most of the time I just use the Nest app. Vera will control the basics like temp, mode, and whether its Home or Away. It doesn’t do things like scheduling (within the nest) or the Nest ‘intellegent’ functions.
Vera is pretty flexible mainly bc of the plugins that are available. There are also other standards besides z-wave however. And the device types available are different for each. Definitely do your research as it probably won’t be a cheap investment in the end. Start with the broad ideas of what you’d like to do and make a list. Find a controller and/or standard that does most of it, the drill down to the actual devices and what you’re specifically looking for. Just remember, something like Vera is only a couple hundred dollars at most. Maybe a hundred. It isn’t going to compete with something that costs thousands and requires a support team to go with it. i think Vera will be just one part of your overall home automation system.